Should A Woman Choose Her Own Engagement Ring?There is a never-ending debate about engagement rings and whether this important ring should be picked by the man or the woman. Matters of etiquette have been raised around women choosing their own engagement rings.
In this article, we look at this confusing bit about engagement rings and whether there is anything wrong with a woman choosing her own engagement ring. After all, we know of women who’ve selected their own engagement rings.
So, what the big deal about women choosing their own engagement rings?
Can a woman choose her own engagement ring?
Traditionally, it was up to the groom to pick out the ring for the bride’s hand. The bride would only know about their engagement ring during the proposal.
However, things have changed, and women choosing their own engagement rings is becoming very popular over the years. But should this be the case?
Does the act of a woman choosing her preferred engagement ring take away something special from the whole marriage proposal affair?
As women actively put their two cents into the whole engagement ring/ proposal thing, quite literally and also figuratively, most men are left wondering if this should be the new norm.
So, can a woman pick their engagement ring?
Yes, a woman can pick out their own engagement ring. Traditionally, it was expected that the man would pick out the perfect engagement ring (without the woman’s input), plan out an elaborate surprise engagement/ proposal event, get down on one knee, and ask the woman to marry him. While this still happens, times are changing, and such traditions are being phased out slowly.
It means that while the engagement ring picking and purchase processes can be arduous and complicated, seeking the counsel of your partner might not be a bad move.
After all, deciding to make the decision without the woman’s input might not always end up well, especially if the ring you choose is nothing the woman wants.
Even if you aren’t going big on your budget, it might be a good idea to involve the woman or at least gain their insight because if your relationship lasts or if she says yes, the engagement ring chosen better last a lifetime.
This means that if you are picking a diamond engagement ring, for example, you’d want to make sure that it meets the 4Cs criteria for the cut, color, carat, and clarity.
So, in as much a woman can pick out their engagement ring, it’s not an entirely terrible idea to buy one yourself, but only if you are 100% sure of what they’d fall in love with.
You need to remember that even though you are free to ask for your woman’s help in the search for the perfect engagement ring, picking the perfect engagement ring and surprising her out of the blue will earn you some major points.
You come off as an ultra-romantic partner when you choose the best engagement ring and have a grand proposal, or even an intimate kind of proposal but still pull all the stops because you are sure that is something she will like.
When the man chooses the perfect engagement ring without the help or the involvement of the bride, that engagement ring and the proposal often turns out to be a very meaningful gesture.
Today, it is common to find women making a point the exact engagement ring they’d like, either by going shopping with their partner or hinting to their significant other.
And we all agree that there is nothing wrong with this. There also are women who will ‘go Dutch’ on the engagement ring purchase process, splitting the cost of the engagement ring in half.
That said, here are the reasons why it is a good idea for couples to shop for the engagement ring together.
1.Shopping together means that you pick out the exact ring you wanted.
This is a very important point when buying an engagement ring because you will be wearing that engagement ring for a very long time, maybe even your entire lifetime, and it is important to choose a ring you will absolutely love.
Besides the ring styles and the setting plus color, being present in the process means that you will find the right size easily, and you wouldn’t have to think about resizing the ring after the proposal.
2.It takes the pressure off your fiancé-to-be.
Buying an engagement ring is a pretty substantial expense, and your man doesn’t want to spend a lot of money on a ring you may or may not like.
So, by accompanying him, the experience is less stressful for him because he will know exactly what you love.
3.It’s good to make bigger life decisions together.
Getting engaged is one of the big life decisions you will make, and buying an engagement ring is a big part of the process.
As one of the big decisions made by new couples, how you handle this one purchase will help you navigate bigger purchases in the future, you will learn about your ability to make joint decisions, and most importantly, you will learn the importance of compromise in your relationship and marriage.
4.It’s a wonderful bonding experience.
Choosing the perfect engagement ring and discussing our preferences is one of those things that will help bring you closer to each other.
Is it bad luck to pick your own engagement ring?
While choosing your engagement ring means that you get to choose exactly what you want, bond, and learn more about each other as a couple, some people (the superstitious) believe that picking out your own engagement ring might not be the best thing to do because it could jinx your relationship, even before you start off your life together.
But this doesn’t seem like something for you to worry about if you aren’t superstitious.
Tips for choosing your own engagement ring
- Learn how to compromise
- Choose a ring that matches your style and preferences
- Buy a high-quality ring that will last a long time
- Avoid shopping together if you want the surprise proposal bit of the fun
- Let your man choose the engagement ring but only throw in hints if you want the traditional, personal proposal
- If shopping together, know his budget before you pick something he cannot afford, well, unless you are ‘going Dutch.’
If you have been wondering if you should choose your own engagement ring, you really don’t have any reason not to do that.
You get to wear that ring for as long as you are married, better make sure that it is a ring you love.
Stephanie is a jewelry lover when she was a teenager. Her major was fashion design when she was in college. She is a jewelry designer at SOQ Jewelry and other design companies. Now she is also a writer for our website. She writes a lot of designs&brands posts with very actionable tips.