Heirlooms are a great way of preserving a family’s history. Bypassing down heirlooms to the next generation, you pass down memories, beliefs, and culture of the family along with it.
Heirlooms are also great memorials of the loved ones lost. Therefore, getting an heirloom engagements ring has all the more sentimental value. Not only does it symbolize the promise of love and commitment, but it also carries the history of love in that family.
So, it comes as no surprise that your partner would want to propose to you with an heirloom engagement ring. The problem, however, comes about if you happen to hate the ring, whether it’s the design or color. What do you do then? How do you convey to your partner that you don’t like the ring?
Not to worry, in this post, we’ll offer you the answers you seek. We will cove the pros and cons of having an heirloom engagement ring and some things you can do if you hate it.
Some Reasons Why You Do Not Like Your Heirloom Engagement Ring?
For your fiancé to propose with an heirloom engagement ring, more likely than not, it means the rings hold a lot of sentimental value to either him or someone in the family he cares about. If you’re lucky, you may end up with a ring you like or at least, wouldn’t mind wearing every day. Some people are, however, not so lucky. The general reason that’s common with most women is that the ring just isn’t their style. The following are some more detailed reasons why you might not like your heirloom ring:
It’s an outdated design.
Given the concept of an heirloom, it comes as no surprise that the ring is old and hence will have an old design. That is a problem if you’re not into vintage or classics. As a modernized woman, you’ll want a modern engagement ring, probably even the latest design. So, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t be able to stand the heirloom.
The setting of the ring.
For someone particular about jewelry, this could end up being a problem. For example, the ring could be a three-stone setting, when you want a singular setting. The problem with this issue is that even if you were to reset the ring, you’ll probably still end up with a different three-stone set. That can be frustrating.
The cut and size of the stone.
Most people would patronize you for talking about the size of the stone, especially if you complain that it’s too small. But considering that wedding bands tend to be plain, engagement rings are meant to be the ones that dazzle your fingers. Sometimes the stone can also be too big and attention-grabbing. That may not work if you are a minimalist who prefers simpler designs. The cut also matters as it adds to the appeal of the ring.
Not a fan of diamonds.
Contrary to past beliefs diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend. With the evolution in marriage traditions, some people opt for other stones like sapphire or emerald instead of diamonds. Unfortunately, traditionally diamond was the main stone used in engagement rings. So, if you’re not a fan of diamonds, you’ll have a hard time liking the ring.
Pros And Cons of Wearing Heirloom Engagement Ring.
Like everything in the world, heirloom engagement rings have their appeal as well as their downsides. The following are some of the pros and cons of having an heirloom engagement ring:
Pros.
- It helps save on money that would have been spent on getting a new engagement ring. That money can go into something else, like your future kids’ college funds.
- The ring has a high sentimental value. It’s both a symbol of love and the family’s history.
- Its heart felt way for him to welcome you to the family if the ring is from his side of the family.
- It gives you the honor of carrying forwards the family’s long history and memories.
Cons.
- You may end up hating the ring.
- It could lead to family conflict if someone else in the family had their eyes on the ring.
- The ring may be too small or too big for your fingers.
What Should You Do If You Do Not Like Your Heirloom Engagement Ring?
Not liking your heirloom engagement ring can put you in quite a fix. Given the sensitivity of the topic, it may be confusing and complicated when thinking of the best way to handle it. On one hand, you don’t want to hurt or disappoint your partner and the family, but on the other hand, you’re the one who has to wear the ring for the rest of your marriage. To help you out with this dilemma, here is a list of a few suggestions on what you can do to resolve this delicate issue:
1.Give it time.
It’s possible that you hated the ring from the moment you saw it, but it would be wise to keep those sentiments hidden for a short while.
The reason is, the moment when he proposes is meant to be a beautiful one filled with joy, and he’s already stressed out as it is.
Waiting for the moment to pass to bring up the topic is best to avoid souring that moment too.
2.Openly communicate.
Communication is the key foundation of any relationship. As delicate as the topic is, you should feel comfortable enough to talk to your partner about it and hope that he understands.
After all, keeping quiet will only frustrate you. But as you express how you feel about the ring, be careful not to hurt him in the process.
Be sure to acknowledge the honor and sentiment behind giving you the family heirloom
3.Consider your options.
Once you’ve talked to him and he’s open to other options, think of what can be done. You can reset the ring to something you prefer without entirely getting rid of the ring.
Alternatively, if you don’t want to change the sentiment of the ring by altering it, you can simply get a new ring and keep that one for special family occasions.
4.Ask if you can pass it down to someone else.
The ring may have been given to you, but maybe someone in the family may have had their eye on it.
There is no use keeping the ring if there’s someone who can cherish it more for what it is.
Ask your fiancée or husband whether there is anyone in the family who would like the ring passed down to them.
5.Get a better wedding ring.
So, the engagement ring wasn’t what you pictured, you at least have the wedding ring.
If you’re concerned that bringing up the topic would cause too much conflict, then talk to your partner and get the wedding ring of your dreams.
That way you can wear the wedding ring daily and keep the engagement ring for special occasions.
Conclusion
Finding that you despise your engagement ring, especially when it’s an heirloom is unfortunate.
But you don’t have to beat yourself up for something you can’t help, we each have a particular taste.
The important thing is, to be honest with your partner about it, but be considerate of his feelings.
If you do decide to suck it up and keep the ring anyway, you never know, you might just end up liking it.
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Stephanie is a jewelry lover when she was a teenager. Her major was fashion design when she was in college. She is a jewelry designer at SOQ Jewelry and other design companies. Now she is also a writer for our website. She writes a lot of designs&brands posts with very actionable tips.