An engagement is an important defining moment in a relationship. For a man, it’s mostly nerve-wracking considering the risk involved. For a woman, it’s an exciting moment especially when they are sure about who they are with.
Unlike sappy movies and fairytales, there’s no guarantee that you will love your engagement ring when he finally pops the question. There are many reasons for this, and handling such a situation can appear difficult.
We are here to help. Here we will discuss the best way to handle hating your engagement ring, as well as, common reasons for it.
Common Reasons That You Might Hate Wearing Your Engagement Ring.
An engagement ring is the first symbol of your eternal commitment to your partner. It’s something you’ll have to wear for the rest of your life hence it’s important to love it.
Like weddings, you’ve probably dreamt about the type of ring you’d like. So, it’s normal to have certain expectations. The reality, however, doesn’t always match up to your fantasies.
Given the mixture of excitement, confusion, and nervousness men go through, especially while choosing a ring, a lot of them get it wrong. You may end up with an engagement ring that’s nothing like what you expected.
Therefore, there are a few common reasons you may end up hating your engagement ring. These reasons are as follows:
1.The Engagement Ring is Trashy or Cheap.
There’s an old belief that an engagement ring should cost a man at least three months of his salary. It was believed that the value of the ring symbolized the amount of love the man had.
While all these are mere beliefs, and some women wouldn’t mind a cheap engagement ring, some have more expensive tastes.
As such a woman, it would be difficult for you to like such cheap and sometimes trashy-looking engagement rings.
Moreover, cheap rings are normally of poor quality and generic designs. They are not as visually appealing as more valuable rings.
What’s more, is, depending on the materials used in the ring, it may tarnish quickly and lose its appeal.
2.The Ring is Out of date.
Most outdated engagement rings are family heirlooms passed down from generation to generation.
Their designs are normally very traditional Victorian cuts and sometimes tacky. Such outdated rings are not everyone’s style unless you’re a lover of classic vintage jewelry pieces.
If your preference is a more modern trendy design, it is difficult to accept the outdated engagement ring you get. Even if that ring is a special heirloom being passed down to you.
3.The Ring is Not Comfortable.
Aside from the design and value of the engagement ring, the comfort of wearing the ring can also affect whether or not you like it. The engagement ring could be a size too mall making it painful to keep on. Similarly, the size of the ring could be a size too big, making it lose.
Another discomfort could be brought about by the material used to make the ring. Some rings are heavy because of too much metal, hence uncomfortable to wear daily.
Cheap rings especially are made could be made with reactive metals or metal alloys that could react with your skin especially if you have metal sensitivity.
Having arthritic fingers could also make it extremely uncomfortable wearing your engagement ring.
Whatever the reason, the discomfort brought about by the ring could easily lead you to hate it.
What Should You Do if You Do Not Love Wearing Your Engagement Ring?
When the deed is done, and you’re left with an engagement ring you absolutely can’t stand, telling your fiancée can be difficult. Considering the effort thought and time put into getting you the ring, or worse if it’s a family heirloom, may make the conversation seem cold and hurtful.
You’re probably bombarded with a question like whether you should tell him? When is the right time and way of saying it? Or should you suck it up and keep it to yourself.
It’s understandable not wanting to hurt his feelings.
The reality is, however, that you cannot carry on pretending to like something you hate for the rest of you’re relationship.
The disappointment and irritation with the ring may end up negatively affecting the relationship otherwise. So, here are a few tips of what you can do if you don’t like your engagement ring:
1.Give it some time.
Even though you may know instantly that you hate the ring, avoid mentioning it immediately.
The moment when the big question is popped should be a joyous occasion and not tainted with any disappointment.
The length of time can be from weeks to even months, depending on when you think he’ll be more receptive to having the discussion.
Maybe given the time the ring may start growing on you and you won’t have to have the discussion.
2.Think about the intention and meaning behind the ring.
Take the time to first find out his reason for getting it. If it’s a family heirloom find out the history behind it.
Sometimes the story behind the ring can end up being more powerful than the ring’s appearance.
You may realize that he is very excited about the ring, maybe because he designed it or it was truly difficult finding it.
You may want to refocus your thoughts at this point. Try focusing on the love and meaning behind the ring and not the ring itself.
After all the ring is just an object that is meant to represent your love and commitment to each other.
3.Find the right way of saying it.
If after waiting you still can’t get behind living with the ring, then think of the best way to let him know.
Once you feel he is ready to hear it, approach the conversation delicately and in private.
Ensure you acknowledge the effort and thought he put into the ring and the engagement.
At the same time, be clear about not liking the ring. You’ll be surprised by the number of guys who are positive and supportive about the situation.
4.Either return it or exchange it.
If the ring was purchased from a jewelry store, both of you can take it back to the store.
You may have the option of returning it and getting a refund to shop for another ring elsewhere.
If there’s no refund policy or you see a ring you like, you could always exchange the ring.
5.Revamp the ring.
If the ring is an heirloom you have the choice of modifying it to suit your preferences.
Simply negotiate with your fiancée what to keep and what to change.
He may want you to preserve the family stone if it’s there, so you can keep the stone and change the band’s design.
You could also use metal to make your wedding band as well.
6.Make sure you choose your wedding ring.
To avoid the same mistake being repeated twice, be more involved in choosing your wedding ring.
This way you can pick out the ring of your dreams that would make up for the horrible engagement ring.
If you find the wedding ring of your choice, you could always choose to wear the wedding ring alone.
You can tell your fiancée you’re saving the engagement ring.
The truth is you can’t fault your fiancée for the ring he chooses.
That may have been the most beautiful ring he could think of for you, and most importantly it may have been what was within his budget.
At the end of the day, the engagement ring is just a symbol, he is the one you’ll be getting married to.
Stephanie is a jewelry lover when she was a teenager. Her major was fashion design when she was in college. She is a jewelry designer at SOQ Jewelry and other design companies. Now she is also a writer for our website. She writes a lot of designs&brands posts with very actionable tips.